Our first cycle TTC was a bust.
No shit, right? The odds of getting pregnant our first cycle were slim to none.
Our timing was perfect: from O-3 to O+1. Every day. I had so, so, so many symptoms. So many dreams. I was so sure. I was so fucking sure that I was pregnant. And I kept going down the rabbit hole of calculating the due date, and when we would be able to announce (St. Patrick’s Day, I even had a great idea for it).
And yesterday was a temp drop and AF. I was beyond devastated. More so than I should have been. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up, I shouldn’t have been looking at things like I was already pregnant when I didn’t know if I was. How stupid of me, I knew better.
So now I’m at the bottom of the rabbit hole that is TTC, trying to get up the nerve to go back at it again. One cycle isn’t a big deal. But when you add up how long we have been trying, it sucks.
5 years is a long time to want something so badly and not have it yet.